It is always baffling that women in so-called relationships often notice the blatant warning signs of a complete fail, yet they continue to ignore the truth. Too often women continue through their relationships with the gut feeling of uncertainty, “does he really love me or not”. When the truth hits the fan, so strong that even the most ignorant of women could not ignore, she cries to her friends about how bad he treated her, how he lied and how hurt she really is. While its obviously easy to point the finger at the opposite sex, it’s a more rewarding challenge to take responsibility of your decisions. In plain words, cut the crap!
Cut out the bull in the relationship and keep it real. Powerful independent women find it so easy to keep it 100 with their peers, yet so hard to keep it real with themselves. Here are five tips to help you cut the crap from your relationship routine.
Sad Sally Syndrome:
In this new era of powerful, responsible, and thought leading women, we must learn to conquer our most harmful weakness, emotion. What makes a man seemingly un-phased by our tactics is the fact that he can hide emotion. While this doesn’t mean you are not allowed to cry on your pillow at night, it does mean that you have to work harder at managing your emotions. Learn when to love, how much love to give and learn when to set emotions aside and let your brain do the work. Refrain from demonstrating complete ignorance. I recommend a review of “Waiting to Exhale”.
To be ignorant is to repeatedly do the same routine expecting a different result each time. Ask yourself, “Can it be that every man I date is no-good, do I just attract no-good men or am I making the wrong decisions?”
Newlyweds, Meghan Good and Devon Franklin, found love. While Good has a past that too often the media attempts to throw in her face, she is happily married to a fine man. Her tenacity to find herself first, then her spiritual love, gave her the strength to find love in a man. And what man isn’t attracted to a woman who knows what she wants and her worth. Good changed up her routine and all other things fell into place.
“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe:
Another great point is to know exactly what you want in a relationship before entering one. How can you expect a man to give you what you want, if you have no idea what you want either? Furthermore, expecting someone to deliver what you have not communicated to them, leaves room for frustrations, confusion, confrontation and annoyance. Do not enter a relationship with the assumption that he will know how to please you. That goes for the bedroom as well.
After understanding what you really want/need out of the relationship, make sure that the person you choose to enter in a relationship with can deliver. Can he provide for you? Is he commitment material? If you have kids can you see him raising them? Are you even in this for the long-haul?
In addition understanding wants and needs in a relationship should not be one-sided. Ask your potential mate, “What do you want from me in this relationship”? You will be surprised at what man will say when you give them the opportunity to speak-up!
Leave The Hunt For The Thirsty
Ever notice when you are looking for your favorite item, you remember seeing it all the time, but when you are looking for it, you just can’t seem to find it? Love is like that, don’t look for it. Don’t set up times to got man hunting. Don’t fix your hair and dress extravagant to catch a man. Do it for you. A woman’s class, grace, and confidence is noticeable without words. When you least expect it love will find you.
In the meantime, focus on something that further advances you as a woman. For example, finish getting your degree, start focusing on your master’s, start a side business, focus on your fitness and heath, or heck learn a trade. Whatever you do, do not put “the hunt” as priority. It will make you loose sight of all other things that matter. Learn to not be the seeker but how to be sought after.
Obey all Signs!
For every sign a woman ignores in her relationship, she should be fined. There are so many signs that point to the truths but we often refuse to accept. After many heartbreaks and questionable behavior, it is time to decide enough is enough. Noticing the signs ahead of time can prevent you from heartbreak so be on the lookout. Signs such as:
- Never returning phone calls
- After a year you still haven’t met any of the family
- Always calling in the wee hours and can never go out during the day.
- Makes excuses to not attend your family events
- Obviously doesn’t make you a priority
- He is obviously in a relationship with her, but claims to have so much love for you.
Ninja please! Even if these signs are not blatant, women have an undeniable instinct. When the instinct is twitching and something smells fishy, there probably is a reason for that. Be smart and protect your heart. Take it slow at yield at all the signs!
Love and commitment is a hot commodity these days, a sign of the times. As New Age Women, logic is the best weapon. Its so easy to fall in like, and even easier to fall in love. Know what you’re doing at all times and have options. Like any other successful challenge in your life, relationships take hard work. Learn from your mistakes and let love find you.
…Until next time.